Is Social Media Marketing Like Sex?

Were you great at sex the first time you tried it? Was your first tweet as bad as your first blowjob? Was your first Facebook ad campaign as difficult to achieve as your first orgasm? Did you rock the socks off your, ahem, customer first time in the drivers seat?

The answer to the above questions is most likely: HELL NO!

Social Media is like sex and because you can never have enough sex or social media it is helpful for us to make this rather spicy analogy. It provides a way to talk about social media that anyone can appreciate, especially in light of recent data that suggests that social media is now more popular than porn, when it comes to web activity.

What are some of the reasons we fail at sex, and social media?

Inadequate Strategy

No matter how much porn we watched as kids, and boy did we watch a lot!, the reality is that sex is such a jarring experience, built up in our imaginations as teenagers and young adults, that when it actually happens it is often a blur. What did just happen? The reality never matches the fantasy.

Social media engagement is so similar. Especially for brands or businesses that are just jumping in now, having heard so much about, having read about it, feared it, experienced the mystique of it. And now they are diving in, and it’s all a blur. There is so much stimulation to take in! Facebook, Twitter, Blogs, You Tube, geo-location, mobile software, iPhone apps, streaming, lifecasting, online advertising, SEO, Video. How are we supposed to master all this?

Is it any different than sex? Think of all the moves and positions a virgin is thinking and worrying about. Missionary, doggy-style, oral sex, the Flying Dutchman? The Swedish Helicopter? It takes years to build up the mastery to be able to have sex leaning against a wall. Can you really expect that your first month using Twitter will be any different?

You aren’t supposed to! Anyone who thinks right off the bat that they are going to be a champ in bed or a social media trendsetter in their industry is still looking at things from a 20th Century point of view.

Social media, like sex, is all about feel. It takes time to understand the landscape of our lovers and it takes time to learn the landscape of social media. We need to understand when to push and pull, what to tweak, what to nibble on, what NOT to nibble on; when to sink right in and when to hold off.

So don’t expect to come up with a grand fool-proof strategy on your first attempt. Expect to make mistakes; expect to be an amateur for awhile. Listen and learn, converse, talk about it with your customers. What do they want from you? What do they need? What don’t they want?

A great strategy for any business exists out there, but don’t expect to find it at first.

Lack of Consistency

Anybody can have an off night, right?  It happens. The problem is that if it happens too often we run the risk of damaging our reputation and in the case of social media, our brand. Social media strategies, just like sex, require consistency if our aim is to please.

When you have followers captivated by the content of your blog, a lack of consistency can seriously burn you as a source of information. Disappointment is the worse thing we can do to either a lover or a Facebook Fan.

So I guess the question would be: How do we avoid the lack of consistency?

This is the fun part: Practice Practice Practice. Practice takes time but it also makes perfect. We must take the time to execute the strategy and constantly address the feedback we get from our customers. It’s the equivalent of the infamous phrase, “Was it good for you?”

With time and practice comes consistency and the rewarding certainty that everybody is having a good time.

Inexperience

Social Media Marketing is more art than science, though the science part is rapidly catching up. Each business needs to discover which tools and platforms are most relevant to their needs. Randomly trying those tactics that have worked for others ends in a futile enterprise and with this frustration comes the “I will never do it again” attitude.

So if you are inexperienced in the art of making love or the art of social media marketing strategy execution, the last thing you want to do is stop trying.

Inexperience always comes attached to the inevitable question: Can’t I just do this on my own? The answer of course is: Yes!

But remember that as a temporary amateur you might need a little bit more guidance, a little bit more advice and there is no shame in addressing this early in the process and asking for help from people with more experience.

The grand thing is that your audience–more so than many lovers–can be very forgiving. With the right guidance and the right team behind your brand you can attempt social media engagement again and realize that no matter what mistakes you have made in the past due to inexperience there is always a new strategy to explore.

Finally, you should never forget that this environment is like a living organism, it is always changing and morphing and transforming itself into new and better things. The world of social media can always give you a second chance if you are open minded enough to try again.

I promise that the more you do it, the better you will become.

Zachary Adam Cohen couldn’t help but co-author this post.

Tagged as: Sexy Marketing, Social Media